Cry Out-Dying

Feel trapped, mourning the dream,
Cut to pieces nothing left to see.
How do you bleed when vein dry?
A empty world filled with icy lies,
I can’t fight when others rather I die.
Every turn I’m wicked, narcissist,
Or I’m hated, othered, unwanted.
I file away the pain, slots of mind,
Empty, cold, no empathy to find.
Makes me worthless, no place for me.
Wake me from this misery,
This corpse tires as king of agony.
When will this damn curse lift,
Where is the supposes gift.
That life is suppose to be
Denied, rejected, forced to mask.
Hide dysphoria, depression, desire to die.
Hide my rage, my existence, wake alone.
I am done fighting on my own.
Please, crying out, desperate not to die.
Save me, I’m drowning in this sea!
Help so I can be who I see inside!

Years of Change

Pics from 2011, 2014, and 2018! look how I’ve grown and changed. I will be starting back on testosterone this February. I am very excited. Wish me luck!

Want to help with transition costs? Donate here : <a href=”https://www.gofundme.com/TheShadowsJourney”>The Shadow’s Journey </a>

Remember to support us on <a href=”https://www.patreon.com/theshadowslair

#selfmadetransman #selfmademan #transandproud #growingandchanging #transgendertransformations #ftm

Everyday Trans-man: Personalities Of Dysphoria

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Hi I am Damien Skye Knight Aka Raven/ Koraki. This is Comic 3 of Everyday Trans-Man

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Dysphoria has become this dirty word in the trans community. This is the face of my dysphoria.

 

Do you like our art? Remember to support us on <a href=”https://www.patreon.com/theshadowslair”>Patreon</a&gt;
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Jan 19, 1986

My name is Damien Knight. I am a 32-year-old female to male trans-person. Today is my birthday. I have lived as male since 2009. I was on testosterone for 3 years and desperately want to get back on it. I also desire one other thing, top surgery.

I have lived 32 years in a body that causes me discomfort, anxiety and depression. The dysphoria once was so bad I attempted suicide. Today I no longer try to die but I think if I had surgery I would be less depressed. This year I hope to raise 1000 toward my goal. Please, for my birthday I ask that people donate toward my surgery fund. Thank You.

The Go Fund Me for my surgery The Shadow’s Journey : https://www.gofundme.com/TheShadowsJourney

Do you like our Posts? Remember to support us on Patreon

A Life

By Damien Knight
I took a life today

I didn’t mean too, 

I wasn’t wanting to murder

But father said I killed her.

Father said I commited slaughter

Yes I took a life today because

Father didn’t have a son but a daughter

Never mind the love I gave

Trips to the lake…
….I will take a life tomorrow

Mine.

The Shadow’s Journey

By Damien Knight

Finding myself in the mirror of my past, am I free at last?

When she haunts my dreams can I ever be me?

Saturday, I spent my afternoon with my Step-mother and my Father at Chuck-E-Cheese. For the first time in ages I had a deep heart to heart with my Step-mom. For me, despite all I went through, this was the woman who raised me. She is my Mom so here on out I will refer to her as such.

Continue reading

Trans people and Military.

Damien Knight

Trump has announced a ban on trans people serving  and this is how I feel:

It’s  time to rise up. I will not, as a trans person who has military family, stay quiet. The army isnt a place to go backwards. We were the first to desegregate and we should be the first place to have full acceptance. Revolt, rebell as the declaration of independence states ” That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute newGovernment, ” it is time!
I am shaking. I am angry. America brags about freedom but we aren’t free. Healthcare is outrageous, racism is rampant and lgbt community is second class. Rise up!

Strength 

By Damien Knight Bright colours cant take away the pain Sunny skies don’t mean there is no rain I wept feeling all alone surrounded While others claim my fear is unfounded Do you live your truest self? Or are you sheltered, soul upon the shelf? If I live as my truest, hatred and judgement Vile yells that I should repent But if I live as a lie, I’d rather be dead So I’ll be the man I imprisoned in…

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Strength 

By Damien Knight
Bright colours cant take away the pain

Sunny skies don’t mean there is no rain

I wept feeling all alone surrounded

While others claim my fear is unfounded

Do you live your truest self?

Or are you sheltered, soul upon the shelf?

If I live as my truest, hatred and judgement

Vile yells that I should repent

But if I live as a lie, I’d rather be dead

So I’ll be the man I imprisoned in my head

And those who would wish me ill

Those who’d rather I be killed 

I will dismiss their existence best I can

And stand strong as the man I am