What is radical acceptance? The other day one of my best friends said in a chat group, “People really need to learn to radically accept their disabilities.” This prompted another person to say something about not having heard of it, which confused us because our whole chat was a bunch of people who radically accepted they were disabled. Some of us were doing so, it seems, with no idea what the word for it was.Continue reading
For me, failure was always hard to accept. With NPD, nothing less than being seen as perfect was ok. The problem was nothing I did felt like success. I often felt my failures made me a bad person. That my many mistakes meant I could never succeed and then I had to remind myself of my favourite childhood quote from Paul “Bear” Bryant:
“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it:
1. Admit it.
2. Learn from it, and
3. Don’t repeat it.”
Mistakes didn’t mean I was bad, just that I should learn from them. It was ok not to know things; it was ok to have failure. Failure and mistakes are part of learning. It is part of the experience. As Adam Savage said, “Failure is always an option.” Being able to accept this option though took me some work.
I had to reframe my failure as a success. That each time I made a mistake, I really was on track to succeed. My failures aren’t failures, really. When I messed up, I simply just made another step to success.
Striving to be perfect does not bring the admiration I desire. Being able to fail with grace, to be successful and admit my failings is not a bad thing. I do not think my mistakes make me a failure or a bad person. When I mess up, I learn from that and move on. It is ok to make mistakes.
Failure is an option. Your mistakes are steps to success. They are not dark marks that make you a bad person. Learn from them, use them to grow and keep on staying motivated.
By Damien Knight
Love has a funny way of making us behave in ways we don’t normally do. We text all night, we write poetry, serenade, or in general smother our lovers with gifts. All wonderful things. In todays fast pace world of facebook and texting sometimes we forget those we love. Ghosting, which is cowardly and heartbreaking, occurs. It’s not always because you no longer love the person. Some people are procrastinators. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow.” Or maybe you had a tragic event in your life. “I have to deal with this.” A few seconds out of your day, make time hold on to those you love. Say hello to old friends. Keep in touch with your lover/lovers. Never be to busy for love.
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By Damien Knight
What time did you get up this morning? 11 maybe noon? It’s summer after all right why get up at 5:30? You can just stay up until midnight anyway, or maybe you think you can just get up earlier tomorrow. There are 86400 seconds in a day, are you maximizing that? Ben Franklin Said early to bed early to rise.
This week I begin working on time management and will update on how it is going. Stay Motivated!
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By Damien Skye Knight
Today’s motivation is ‘forgive yourself’ and accept mistakes in others. I have already talked about how we have to “Shed Your Past”. Today I want to talk about one way we do that. We do this through forgiveness, not just of others but yourself. We are our hardest critics, sometimes we can’t help blame ourselves for things we couldn’t control. Or maybe we could but now it’s too late to change it.
What do you do if you can’t forgive yourself? Wallow? Last month was yet another anniversary to the death of my beloved Misty. She was murdered April 2005. For years I beat myself up over her. If I asked her to stay would she be alive? The truth is, it is something I cannot change and I will never know. All I can do is forgive myself. I can’t control it nor can I change it. If I did something to another person and it causes me guilt the only action I have available now is apology. If they accept it great if not I still need to move on and forgive myself.
The last part is forgetting other’s wrongs. We never truly forgive and forget with other people as humans our memories make a large part of our identity. To forgive ourselves and others though we have to accept mistakes that are made and do so with grace. This is hard when the other party refuses to acknowledge wrongdoing, abuse, or suffering caused to you. Ask yourself does holding on to that anger and resentment help you heal? The answer is no. Let go and accept what has happened in this way you forgive them and move forward on your journey to forgive yourself.
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By Damien Knight
A lot of us are focused on our first week of New Year’s resolutions. The thing we often forget while working for goals is that we must live at the moment. Take advantage of the new day! Tomorrow’s worry is for tomorrow.
Goals must be taken in steps. One of my main goals to lose weight for surgery can’t be done by rushing. Worrying about tomorrow won’t get me done with today. Today I must make sure I eat right and exercise. Each new day is a blank slate to work on our goals. Embrace that new day!
Stay Motivated Friends.
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By Damien Knight
Every year on the 15th of December my father, a short man, would go out and pick a live tree that often was 2 feet taller than he was. He would proudly haul this tree up four flights of stairs and into the apartment. The pine smelt amazing, and you could tell our father worked hard to pick the best tree.
My favourite tree was the one he hauled up those stairs, got it to the door, and in the house only to stand it up and it didn’t fit. We had to trim the top it was so tall. While I have never purchased a live tree, I cherished those memories and know Christmas is a time of celebration. Happy Yule, Merry Christmas, and a Cheerful Holiday to all my readers this year!
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By Damien Knight
When we think of motivation, we talk a lot about light, moving into the light, seeking light, pursuing it. Light is always the goal. We then view struggle as our enemy and emotions as weapons against us. Pain, suffering, depression, we become swallowed in our cycle of pity and anguish and only light can save us. This, this then leads us to struggling to find light, light of course being happiness, prosperity and normalcy. We fight darkness, but is it our enemy?
I was evicted back in March 2017; the land-lord had tried several times to evict me for various claims and I finally stopped fighting her. I won’t claim I embraced despair. No one does but at this same time I had watched The Secret and I desperately wanted to believe in the power of attraction. I had put out to the universe that I wanted a house; I knew I had a lease I couldn’t break and, yet the universe found a way for me to break my lease.
So far, no darkness, but then I was unable to find a place, and I ended up essentially squatting in a house that had a bad roof and no floors in the kitchen. I loved the house itself and part of me wanted to buy it, but it wasn’t feasible. After just a month a familiar friend appeared. Depression, loneliness, despair. I have experienced many dark times in my past but this recent one I feel is where I mastered not fighting the darkness of agony.
I have suffered many “Character Building” events. Truly to pursue the light one must stop fighting darkness and use it to build your character. Side note if you suffer clinical illness do not take my words to mean you should stop medicines. Please remember that medicine is a tool to keep us going just as much as any other means of motivation and for some it is what keeps us alive. STAY MOTIVATED!
Hey guys, this week I begin driving lessons! As you can see by the exclamation mark, I am very excited. I am also real nervous. I have not driven since my wreck in 2009. That wreck left me concussed and terrified of driving even though I was not at fault. Anyway, that’s beside the point.
Another exciting thing is the Geology spring break trip. I will go to the Mojave! I know little about the trip yet but I will write about it when I get back. Things are flowing, some good, no lots good but even when I got good flow I know life isn’t always smooth so today, My Motivation Monday is:
When the river flows, it does not avoid the rock but embraces the rock. Over time, the rock in the river is rounded and changed and the jagged edges become smooth. In this way we too must embrace obstacles that cannot be avoided. When a river cannot make it through rough terrain, it’s path changes. It is not wrong or unmotivated to change direction, to avoid obstacles which otherwise hinder us. But if it cannot be avoided (School Tests, Job interview, a Marriage) we must welcome, embrace the change, the hindrance and reshape it into our benefit. Be like a river my friends and go with the flow.
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By Damien Knight
As you all know, I have moved into a new house. What you might not know is I suffer from chronic illness. This weekend I posted a poem titled Invisible which captured how I felt dealing with having to unpack an entire house with just me and two kids. I am exhausted, stressed and in constant pain. I know I shouldn’t complain about it but isn’t human?
Absolutely! And not only is it natural and human to complain it is human to want compassion. I have arthritis, Hashimoto’s, Asthma, epilepsy, GERD, and depression brought on by the fact I have had no medication since December due to insurance issues. It gets frustrating just trying to get out of bed. With a thyroid disorder sleepiness is more than just a symptom. It is a way of life. I have trouble sleeping at night and keeping my eyes open in the day. I live on coffee.
In fact, I bet most of you also live on coffee and you don’t even suffer a thyroid problem, right? Or maybe you do. The point is many of us struggle with just getting out of bed. I slept a lot as a kid, the depression so heavy sleep was better than living. Today’s Motivation “Every Day begins with an act of courage.” So true. For me just getting up means the depression, the chronic pain, and Hashimoto’s does not beat me. My illness will not define me, hardships do not have to define us. Be proud today you got out of bed.